Kommon Nonsense

Can I just say that there is no greater joy for me right now than making my son smile. I don't care if I look like or sound like a complete idiot in the airport, in the mall, or any other public place when I talk "baby talk" to my son because the smile that consumes his face is worth every weird look from a stranger. He is such a happy baby! He is even beginning to talk. It is so fun translating his his coos, ahhs, and oohhs into adult language. I LOVE BEING A DAD!

I knew that I would learn some different lessons of life when I became a father. I mean I am a brand new father so everything was going to be a new experience for me. Well there have been plenty of new experiences like changing a diaper and warm yellow pee shooting straight into my face or green mushy poop getting all over my hand. There have been difficult experiences, as the joy of having a brand new son at home gives way to fear when he throws up all over the floor, not able to keep any food down, and feeling so frustrated because there is nothing I can do to make it stop. There have been selfish experiences like when I just want to chill, catch my breath, and watch a little football on a Sunday but it's feeding time or a diaper needs to be changed. There have been irreplaceable experiences like the times when I get to see Jill look into Huntington's eyes as she consoles him, the times when he looks up at me and gets the biggest smile on his face, the times when he will turn his head and look at me when he hears my voice, the times where I just get to hold my son in my arms. I love those times!

I think through all of these experiences I have begun to learn what it means to truly GIVE because my default response in a lot of those experiences is, "geez can't a guy just get a little alone time?" Though I am learning to look to Jill's needs and Huntington's needs before my own. I am beginning to understand that there is great joy in meeting the needs of others, specifically those of my family. I am beginning to understand that there is great joy in giving my time, energy, and attention to Jill and Huntington. I understand that I need to take care of myself too and get my alone time when I can, but that is where having a wonderful wife who wants to meet my needs comes in. Jill has been amazing at understanding who I am and meeting my need of having some alone time.

I feel so blessed this Thanksgiving that I get to do life and all of its new experiences with such an amazing wife and woman - THANK YOU JILL!

So I have noticed that at times my outward appearance of sacrifice is motivated by a heart of selfishness. How can this be? I have noticed that sometimes I give, sacrifice my time, serve others so that on the outside it looks like I am serving, but I do it so that people will recognize me for those sacrifices. The other day I found myself being angry that I was not receiving recognition for serving. My heart was being selfish in serving. I was focused more on myself in the midst of serving others. I was serving not for the sake of others or for the Kingdom's sake, but for my own sake! I am amazed sometimes at my capacity for sin even in the midst of serving.

This morning I listened to a sermon by Matt Chandler who is the pastor at The Village church in Texas. He was speaking on the difference between being childlike verses being childish. In the sermon he made a statement regarding his kids, that it is he and his wife's responsibility to "encourage, foster, and nourish a childlike wonder and awe of Christ in their children and to discipline out the childish things." He goes on to explain the difference between childish things and childlike things. As I prepare to be a new dad I find these words to be some of the most challenging and yet the most comforting. For me it puts into perspective healthy discipline. I do not want to discipline my kids for being childlike.

It also stirs up in me a sort of internal comfort with who I am right now. See many times I take a step back and wonder to myself, "Anthony you are 30 years old, why are you dressing up in 80s clothes and going bowling with a bunch of college students? Why are you dressing up in the Chick-fil-A cow suit and doing a lip sync competition? Should 30 year old men be doing this sort of thing? Anthony you are about to have a kid, it's time to grow up." After hearing some of the words in the sermon I felt this peace come over my spirit as if to say, "Anthony, I never want you to stop being childlike, being full of joyful life, and enjoying the wonder and awe of who I am. This is who I have created you to be...a quirky, silly, crazy, spontaneous, introvert, who loves to hang out with people."

May we always be childlike in life and in faith!

Today I join the ranks of the intellectual elite, the creative geniuses, the crazy people who vomit random thoughts, otherwise known as the BLOGGER. I have decided to try to put into words the random and often chaotic thoughts that fly trough my brain. My hope is that as I try to capture those thoughts you, the reader, would catch a glimpse of my mind, my thoughts, and my heart...Good Luck!