Kommon Nonsense

I haven't laughed this hard in a very long time. I was laughing so hard I was crying. Now, for some reason Huntington thinks UH OH is the funniest thing ever! Man I love this kid!

I was over at my buddy Brady's house the other night and he busted this video out to show some of us. It is very intriguing, and yet, overwhelming at the same time. Anyway, check it out...

I have...
Instructions: Copy & Paste. Then bold the things you have done. That's it. :)

1.Started your own blog (duh, you are reading it)
2.Slept under the stars (Pine Summit baby)
3.Played in a band
4.Visited Hawaii (can't wait to go back)
5.Watched a meteor shower
6.Given more than you can afford to charity
7.Been to Disneyland
8.Climbed a mountain (Mt. Whitney 2x and Mt. San G)
9.Held a praying mantis
10.Sang a solo (I was in Choir in High School and had a solo. shhh nobody knows)
11.Bungee jumped
12.Visited Paris
13.Watched a lightning storm at sea
14.Taught yourself an art from scratch (photography)
15.Adopted a child {well sponsored a child when i was in high school with my friend greg}
16.Had food poisoning
17.Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty
18.Seen the Mona Lisa in France
19.Slept on an overnight train
20.Had a pillow fight
21.Hitchhiked
22.Taken a sick day when you’re not ill
23.Built a snow fort
24.Held a lamb
25.Gone skinny dipping
26.Run a Marathon (LA Marathon baby...all 26.2 miles of it)
27.Ridden in a gondola in Venice
28.Seen a total eclipse
29.Watched a sunrise or sunset (not too many sunrises anymore)
30.Been on a cruise
31.Seen Niagara Falls in person
32.Visited the birthplace of your ancestors
33.Seen an Amish community (they make awesome food!)
34.Taught yourself a new language
35.Had enough money to be truly satisfied
36.Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person
37.Gone rock climbing
38.Seen Michelangelo’s David.
39.Sung karaoke (Livin la vida loca)
40.Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
41.Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant
42.Visited Africa
43.Walked on a beach by moonlight
44.Been transported in an ambulance
45.Had your portrait painted
46.Gone deep sea fishing
47.Seen the Sistine Chapel in person
48.Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris (next year when we visit Kristen in Italy!!!)
49.Gone scuba diving or snorkeling
50.Kissed in the rain
51.Played in the mud
52.Gone to a drive-in theatre
53.Been in a movie
54.Visited the Great Wall of China
55.Started a business
56.Taken a martial arts class
57.Visited Russia
58.Served at a soup kitchen
59.Sold Girl Scout Cookies
60.Gone whale watching
61.Donated blood, platelets or plasma
62.Gone sky diving
63.Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp
64.Bounced a check
65.Flown in a helicopter (Honeymoon in Hawaii = AWESOME!)
66.Saved a favourite childhood toy
67.Visited the Lincoln Memorial
68.Eaten Caviar
69.Pieced a quilt
70.Stood in Times Square
71.Toured the Everglades
72.Been fired from a job (almost!)
73.Seen the Changing of the Guards in London
74.Broken a bone.
75.Been on a speeding motorcycle
76.Seen the Grand Canyon in person
77.Published a book
78.Visited the Vatican
79.Bought a brand new car
80.Walked in Jerusalem
81.Had your picture in the newspaper
82.Kissed a stranger at midnight on New Year’s Eve
83.Visited the White House
84.Killed and prepared an animal for eating
85.Had chickenpox
86.Saved someone’s life
87.Sat on a jury
88.Met someone famous
89.Joined a book club
90.Lost a loved one
91.Had a baby (well my wife did, but I think that qualifies for this question)
92.Seen the Alamo in person
93.Swam in the Great Salt Lake
94.Been involved in a law suit
95.Owned a cell phone
96.Been stung by a bee
97.Hit a home run
98.Got flowers for no reason
99.Grown your own vegetables

Just thought I would post some recent pictures of Huntington that I have taken. I love this little guy!

I saw this video on my brother's blog and thought I would find it and post it on mine as well. This is seriously one of the coolest things I have seen. Why don't they do these sorts of things in America. If they do, why don't I know about it?? Americans are BORING. Would have been so cool to have been there in the midst of this crowd. Makes you think that people want to be a part of something bigger than themselves...

LIFE IS FOR SHARING!!!

I look at my life and realize that I am in a different stage of life now that many of my friends do not understand. When I got married I was in a different stage and to some degree my friendships changed because now I was the married guy who didn't get invited to do things as much because I probably didn't want to go or couldn't go. Now I am a father and a husband who is in a different stage and to some degree my friendships are changing again. I feel left out, uninvited, the guy with the kid that "probably can't come." Because all of this gets to the core of my insecurity, I feel hurt; and like I have always done when I get hurt, I withdraw. I withdraw from EVERYONE, my wife, my son, friends, coworkers, family. I go into hiding from those relationships that I crave to engage with. It seems ironic that the very relationships that I miss and want to be around I withdraw from, but at those moments, for some reason, I don't feel safe. Now I know these men care for me deeply, but for some reason I choose to believe that they don't need me anymore. Even if that were true, which I don't for a second believe, I still need them!

My parents came to Phoenix this weekend to visit Huntington mostly, but I am OK with that. I understand that everything changes when you have a kid. It really is no longer about me or about Jill, it is all about Huntington. I have loved watching my parents with Huntington. I love that they have the opportunity, as grandparents, to love on my son.

I feel bad sometimes because I know my parents would love to see Huntington more often, but because of location don’t get to. I understand that in their hearts they want their grandchildren to know who they are and love going to Grandma and Grandpa’s house, or in this case, Nana and Ada’s house. It is hard to communicate to my parents that he is only 6 months old and doesn’t really “recognize” anyone other than Jill and I. In my heart I want my children to love going to Nana and Ada’s house, to MawMaw and Grandpa’s house, and to Grandma’s house.

What an amazing friend you have been. I have loved the opportunity to do life with you these last 5 years. You have been such an integral part of my story during my time here at GCU. I don't know what I would have done many days without your office dance parties, crazy jokes, and random lip syncing. Your constant enthusiasm for life has brightened my heart and the hearts of others in the office. You bring joy to the lives of those who have the privilege of being in your life.

I have loved having the opportunity to watch you grow into the freedom of knowing who you are in Jesus. You have grown so much in trusting Jesus with who He says you are and finding your identity in Him.

Words cannot adequately communicate the tremendous impact your life has had in the lives of my family. I am proud to call you my friend!

Jill, Huntington, and I will miss you greatly my friend!

P.S. YOU WILL NEVER BE FORGOTTEN!!

Today I had the opportunity to protect a student’s heart. I am honored that students consider me someone to be trusted with their lives. This is why I do what I do. I love that I have the opportunity to do life with students in which there is a mutual trust and vulnerability.

My wife and I were just talking the other day about some friends of ours who just got married and their relationship. It seems like, by observing them from the outside in, that both of them operate out of a lot of insecurity. Jealousy and/or making the other feel guilty or stupid for doing something they didn’t agree with, often comes up in their conversation over the course of a day. Now usually it is not said harshly or rudely, but is often masked under the guise of “just joking.” I don’t write this in judgment of their relationship, but because it reminds of past relationships I was involved in. It is a vivid reminder of the insecurity I used to not just live in, but clothed myself in.

Our insecurity, whether it is with body image, speaking ability, looks, performance, is always a consequence of unresolved sin in our life. Insecurity is almost always a result of hurt that we have caused others or hurt that has been done to us. At some point in our life it was communicated to us that we weren’t good enough the way we were so we cower in fear to a place that is safe, a place where we feel like we are in control, and where we feel like we have the ability to determine what is beautiful and acceptable. The only problem is that in this place we still do not see truth clearly and as long as we are hiding true healing can never take place.

I look at how I used to operate in the midst of relationships, be it with friends, girls, or family, and I can look back and see how much I engaged in those relationships out of insecurity. My unresolved sin produced insecurity, which produced jealousy, which produced me trying to manipulate and control by shaming and guilting those that I loved.

God has used my relationship with my wife to bring about healing to a lot of my insecurity. Through the process of taking off the masks and trusting my wife with who I really am my wife has been gracious in her protection of that vulnerability. In my moments of complete vulnerability my wife did not use disclosed struggles, fears, or hindrances to guilt me or shame me into “being a better person.” My wife has shown me grace, has trusted Jesus with who I am and who He has created me to be, and has stood with me in my fears. God has used my relationship with my wife to communicate His love and protection of me. He is the perfect protector in my fears, struggles, and false expectations.

I guess the theme for the last couple months has been one of awareness. I think I have become more aware than ever of my faults, hurts, and unresolved sin issues in my life. I have even become more aware of how those affect the people that I love. Jesus continues to use relationships to bring about healing in the midst of great struggle.

How do we ever think that we can do this journey alone?!

Today it hit me that I only have 3 weeks until graduation and until the end of my time with my students. I will be here until the end of May, but most of the students will leave for the summer on or around May 3rd. I guess up until now I haven't really thought about the reality that for many of the students that I have had the opportunity to do life with at school, I will no longer do life with. My heart is flooded with emotions as I begin to think about that reality. While this year has probably been one of the most difficult years in Student Life professionally, emotionally, and spiritually, I can look back on this year and at least cherish the memories of doing life with great students and mostly everyone in my office. I guess the most difficult part of facing the reality of leaving Canyon is dealing with the fact that I am not in control of how things will turn out. I guess for the last 5 years I have felt a sense fo responsibility to protect the hearts of students and the office. I have tried to intentionally communicate to students and to those I work with the truth of who they are in Christ. I have tried to convey the truth that God is after their hearts, He desires for them to live in the freedom of His grace, and that they would seek the abundant life of freedom in who He has created them to be. That is a truth that is sometimes taught from the stage of the Gathering, but more often modeled in the journey of life.

Now I am coming to the very harsh reality that I will no longer have the opportunity to protect the hearts of those I love at Canyon. I now have to place my trust in Jesus that he will protect the hearts of those I am leaving. I know in my heart that it is Jesus who is ultimately responsible for the protection of hearts and of truth, but I do believe that He places people in our lives to model His love, protection, and truth. I hope that I have been a good representation of those things to students and staff of Canyon during my time here. I know I have not always done it perfectly. In fact, there are specific times that I can recall that because of my own insecurities, fears, and desire for some sense of control, I have hurt people, not spoken truth, and have been harsh. I hope that in those times my heart has been sensitive to seek forgiveness and restitution of those relationships.

The difficult part of leaving Canyon is that I have seen how insecurity, fear, and desire for control can manipulate, harm, and wound souls by shaming and guilting people. I have seen the affects that one man can have on the lives of many in a very real and harmful way. I have seen how the consequences of unresolved sin issues and undealt with life experiences can affect those you lead and are responsible for. I have seen students withdraw behind masks because they feel unworthy, unacceptable, and not good enough the way they are.

Jesus I leave the hearts of these students in your hands. Your truth is more powerful than the insecurity of one man. May you reveal to the hearts of students the truth of who they are in you!

So I have often wondered, as I am sure many others have as well, what purpose dreams serve. I have always wondered why we have dreams, where they come from, and why I can only sometimes remember what they were. We have amazing dreams and when we wake up we are elated and have a smile on our face. We have horrible dreams or nightmares and when we wake up we find the sheets drenched in cold sweat. Do we dream every night? There are those dreams that as soon as you wake up you try as hard as you can to remember it because it was just that good. Then there are those dreams that as soon as you wake up there is this sudden emotion of guilt or shame. Isn't weird how dreams evoke emotions. You can wake up in a great mood, happy, excited, or filled with guilt and shame. You can wake up angry at your wife for something she did or said in your dream yet that emotion carries over to reality once the alarm clock starts buzzing.

I think I may have figured out at least one of the reasons we dream. I think that sometimes we experience emotions that are tied to experiences in our dreams in order to warn, inform, or give us insight into what will be true in reality. In the past I can remember having a few dreams where I have woken up in a cold sweat and feeling so guilty for kissing a girl that was not my girlfriend or for doing something wrong that everyone found out. My head pops off my pillow and my first thought is, "Oh my gosh, I am so glad that was just a dream!" What if we dream dreams in order to experience events, emotions, rewards, or consequences that you normally wouldn't in reality? Just a thought. Maybe you can dream about it tonight and let me know what you think.