Kommon Nonsense

I look at my life and realize that I am in a different stage of life now that many of my friends do not understand. When I got married I was in a different stage and to some degree my friendships changed because now I was the married guy who didn't get invited to do things as much because I probably didn't want to go or couldn't go. Now I am a father and a husband who is in a different stage and to some degree my friendships are changing again. I feel left out, uninvited, the guy with the kid that "probably can't come." Because all of this gets to the core of my insecurity, I feel hurt; and like I have always done when I get hurt, I withdraw. I withdraw from EVERYONE, my wife, my son, friends, coworkers, family. I go into hiding from those relationships that I crave to engage with. It seems ironic that the very relationships that I miss and want to be around I withdraw from, but at those moments, for some reason, I don't feel safe. Now I know these men care for me deeply, but for some reason I choose to believe that they don't need me anymore. Even if that were true, which I don't for a second believe, I still need them!